There’s several things you don’t want to wake up to. The loss of a hero is close to the top of the list.
George Carlin was one of my heroes.
He was one of the smartest and filthiest motherfuckers to ever walk up on a stage and tell it like it is. Comics can get a way with a lot because everyone is laughing while they’re laying some pretty important truths on us. It’s OK. It’s a fucking joke.
But it isn’t. In these profoundly fucked up times, when those cocksuckers, those cunts, those pieces of shit that want to tell you how to think, what to wear, where to go and how to act think – who know what’s best for you; you need someone to come along and throw a few idols to the ground so hard they shatter. That was George’s job. He was really fucking good at it too.
It’s before my first cup of coffee right now so I really don’t know what else to say, and probably won’t later. This guy was such, and will continue to be, a huge influence on me. He was like an intellectual parent. So today, in memory of George, try to use his 7 Dirty Words in conversation They are:
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
Do it is loud as you can too. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.
God. Bill Hicks…dead. Richard Pryor…dead. Lenny Bruce…dead. Sam Kinison…dead. All these amazing people…dead. Then you have no talent ass clowns like Dane Cook and Carrot Top still putting out pure shit that is the comedic equivalent of Gerber baby food. And Carlos Mencia sucks worse than the vacuum of fucking space.
I smell something. It’s awfully familiar. Let’s follow my nose…
Is it over here? Nope. Maybe its over here?
Wrong again. Where and what could it be?
Ah, here it is. It’s the charred smell that comes from the smoking crater that is created when fact and spin collide.
Today Obama said he does not support deep water offshore drilling as a way to alleviate the energy crisis we’re in. The story can be found here but here’s where I think the freshest crater happened, and why. Follow closely.
Here’s what Obama said…
“Believe me — if I thought that there was any evidence at all that drilling could save people money who are struggling to fill up their tanks by this summer or this year or even the next few years, I would consider it,” Obama said. “But it won’t. And John McCain knows that.”
Instead, Obama said he would spend $150 billion over the next 10 years on clean energy and encourage conservation.
“That’s how we can protect our coastline and still make the investments that will reduce our dependence on foreign oil and bring down gas prices for good,” he said.”
Okay. I can agree with that. Offshore drilling won’t help gas prices any more than drilling in Alaska will. It’s a Band-aid on a shotgun wound. However, here’s the spin, courtesy of McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds.
“Barack Obama went before the cameras to make clear he opposes any measure of short-term and long-term energy relief. He is now on the record opposing every single initiative that might help Americans with their current pain at the pump. Barack Obama himself has said that the only problem is that gas prices went up too fast. The American people cannot afford Barack Obama’s do-nothing, out of touch energy policy. Unlike Barack Obama, John McCain has laid out a clear strategy that will provide Americans needed relief at the gas pump while giving the states’ the right to choose deep water energy exploration and the ability to move America toward energy independence.”
*KABOOM*
Let’s examine these two statements again. Obama said something that made sense (at least to me) and McCain’s spokesman took that, looked at it, ignored it, and instead responded to what he wished Obama had said. Then he has the balls to say the policy is “do nothing” and “out of touch”.
You know what’s “do nothing” and “out of touch”? Pretending more oil is the solution. It’s not. Investing in alternative fuels and renewable energy is. That’s real energy independence. Actually, it’s (or it should be) the conservative position. It takes a special kind of idiot to assume this stuff is always going to be there. Forget global warming or any other tree hugging hippie crap. This is a matter of national security. We’re hooked and the Saudi’s and other foreign nations are our dealers. They can cut us off whenever they want and there’s precisely jack we can do about it…unless someone decided to invade Saudi Arabia. Let’s not give anyone any ideas though.
They have the money to wait us out. We need them more than they need us. They’ve got a lot of oil and we don’t. So, my question is why don’t we cut the cord? Let’s alter the equation a bit. Assuming offshore drilling, or drilling in Alaska, will solve our gas problems the effect will be temporary at best and far from immediate. I grew up in a town that had not just one, but at least 5, oil refineries. As best as I can tell (and I’m nowhere close to being an expert) it takes a while to find and process this stuff, and, eventually, it will run out.
Or, we can do what Americans do best…innovate. We have a long and successful history of making crash programs work. Hell, in 1961 Kennedy said we would land on the moon before the decade was out. We only had a little more than 15 minutes in space at that point and the Russians were kicking our asses. However, a leader with some real vision set a goal and gave us a deadline. We hadn’t even invented the stuff we would need to invent that stuff we would need to go from one celestial body to another. Yet, we did it…twice…before the December 31, 1969 deadline. In the 1940s an atomic bomb went from an abstract idea to a horrifying reality in less than 3 years. It’s not like we haven’t made seemingly impossible things happen. As an avid Air Force fan I think we should take a hint from one of their mottoes.
“The difficult we do immediately…the impossible takes a few minutes longer.”
So let’s find the smartest people we can. Give them what they need. Shield them from politics and self anointed media experts (like me for example) and let them do what they do best…dream and create.
I’m not adverse to throwing the oil industry some money either. There are jobs and livelihoods at stake. I’m not talking about the executives either. I’m talking about the guy that works every day next to a huge flammable tank. They will need re-training for these new technologies. We don’t want to lose jobs. So, yeah, I’m not opposed to short-term subsidies for this purpose. There’s a balance that needs to be maintained between hope and reality.
Getting back to the smoking crater though, study it carefully and you’ll see how this works. Most, if not all, campaign rhetoric is designed around what someone wished their opponent had said instead of what was actually said. Few things illustrate this better than that little exchange.
Spin does not always win…or even make sense come to think of it.
Obama decided to not accept public financing, and it was the right thing to do.
Why?
Since the advent of public financing most of the real attack dog stuff has come from PACs and 527 groups. They lie beyond the control of the candidate, thus insulating them. However, most 527s and PACs are the political equivalent of the necessary evil. They do the dirty work so the candidate doesn’t have to. It’s the elephant in the middle of the room though. It’s common knowledge that coordination on some level, has to take place, even though such coordination is illegal. Plus, they make for decent sacrifices if needed. It sometimes helps a candidates public image to toss a few of these groups under the bus to convey the illusion of integrity.
That is after the hit by the PAC or 527 has landed on the intended target of course; after the damage is done.
Seems somewhat disingenuous, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.
So why is this an advantage for Obama? Rejecting public financing means more control over his campaign, and provides flexibility. Believe it or not, on a national campaign, $86 million is not a lot of money. That’s where the PACs and 527 groups come in. Because there can’t be total coordination they lose control over vital parts of their message, and they get stuck with the baggage these groups bring, and more often than not, are held responsible for words that aren’t entirely their own. Candidates need their support because, with public financing, they have limited resources.
Well, not this year it seems. Now Obama can raise as much as he wants. Given the surge in small dollar contributions over the internet this will create cash that will move mountains. Hell, even Ron Paul (who I personally like but many of his more ardent…even rabid…supporters can be accurately termed as “batshit crazy”) set one day fundraisnig records through online contributions. It boxes McCain in nicely as well. McCain is a champion of public financing and campaign finance reform. The problem with the system is that it depends on the presumption of large single donors instead of diffused small donors.
Simply put, the movement for campaign finance reform won, they just don’t know it yet. It wasn’t the law. It was the internet that gave people the chance to replace an outdated system with something more personal and egalitarian.
Also, I agree that most voters won’t give a damn about this, no matter how hard some groups try and play it up. To say a politician broke a promise is like saying water is wet. Voters just expect it at this point. Obama was smart. He took a short term hit when it doesn’t matter in favor of a long term gain when it will.
Now what will McCain do? He is looking at getting outspent by someone that rejected the program he champions. Will he stick to his guns or will he re-evaluate given the situations. Political promises are not suicide pacts. Should McCain reject he leaves himself very vulnerable and will have to depend on 527s and PACs. In essence he’ll do the opposite of Obama. He’ll take a short term gain in exchange for a long term hit.
If he’s smart he’ll opt out as well. There’s a reality he needs to face. The game is changing in some pretty wild ways. He needs to see this and adjust accordingly.
Well, the Democratic contest is over. Both candidates have been picked. Now we enter the lull.
Summer is never a good time for campaigning. Ideally, candidates should be fundraising and stay quiet. There’s no need to jump right in. Everyone needs to catch their breath and carefully consider their next move.
Or not…
Looking over the news the crap de jour it indicates that Michelle Obama is fair game. No she isn’t. Fist bumps? Supposed hidden radical Islamic interests? The first time I’m proud?
All totally irrelevant. All distractions formulated by those with lesser and simpler minds. The people that fork this stuff out are, in essence, calling you an idiot, and they badly want you in their club of idiots. So ignore it. Despite my hopes that this will be a contest of ideas I’m not exactly holding out any real hope here. McCain and Obama are both fine candidates. They’re probably, for once, the best that both sides have to offer given the times.
However, it just isn’t up to them, is it? No candidate can control what their supporters do and say. MoveOn (oh how I hate them) just put up this ridiculous ad. Check it out, but make sure to have a bucket nearby for the inevitable puke that should follow.
Awww, isn’t that sweet. She knows how to pimp her little baby for fear based politics. Yeah, John McCain says we will have to stay in Iraq, and he’s right. Beyond politics lies reality. To be blunt…we broke it, we bought it, and now we have to fix it. Every school. Every town. Every foot of plumbing and wiring. We have to fix or build all of these things. If we don’t, then were the worst kind of scum. McCain is right and Obama should just admit it and cede the point. There’s no dishonor in acknowledging the obvious.
Has anyone thought about the consequences of just leaving Iraq in the state that it is in? They go far beyond American casualties. The reality is that Iraq was a control rod before and that needs to be maintained. We were wrong to invade. We were, I’m convinced, deliberately misled into a needless war. However, it’s our problem now whether we like it or not.
So, in that spirit, I’d like to ask MoveOn to kindly shut the fuck up. Kids ARE NOT political props and you lost your war before it even started. Accept it, and move on. You can’t fight the past. You can only study it so future mistakes (like the Iraq war) can be avoided. But anyone that tells you we can just leave and everything will be hunky dory is full of shit, and should be treated accordingly.
On the flip side the GOP is bringing the erudite as only they can. For example…
Um…wow. This little gem was at the Texas GOP convention (and god knows where else). Really, come on. Racism is funny…right. Ha ha ha (insert sound of gunshot aimed at the vicinity of my head). To be fair the Teas GOP banned the person responsible for the button…after the fact. No party official saw that little gem? Nobody tried to stop this before it started? This button has been brought to you by the same people that think Obama’s wife is fair game and the letters “F” and “U”.
Really, what kind of wuss goes after somebody’s wife?
To add to the frivolity, some Republicans are refusing to vote for McCain because he’s ,well, John McCain…every Democrat’s favorite Republican until recently. Also some Democrats are refusing to vote for Obama because of his seemingly appalling lack of a Vagina. God I love single issue voters. They have to be the dumbest fucking people on the face of the planet. But their views are just so adorable. They’re so dumb it’s almost cute. They not only can’t see the forest for the trees, but they usually deny the forest exists at all and swear this is the only tree in the known universe. Only the Democrats can get in a tolerance-off with themselves and still lose. Some women’s groups won’t vote for Obama and are actively going to support McCain. Really?! Brilliant. Wow. With minds like that at the helm of the women’s movement (or whatever passes for it these days) how can they lose?
I guess it’s your bad luck to have a dick Barak. I guess you’ll have to settle for being the “other” historical candidate, you lucky black American male you.
So where to go from here? I’ve often said that one way or another, in American democracy, you end up with the government you deserve. We elected Bush, so we deserve exactly what we got. We paid attention to fear, therefore we deserve exactly what we got. Individual objections are irrelevant. As a society we asked for it and we got it…in stereo and technicolor. And don’t give me any crap about rigged elections or hanging chads or Supreme Courts. They’re just excuses. In a democracy (or even a republic like ours) the voters are ultimately responsible for putting the person in the big chair.
We set the tone really. What tone will we set? Whose music will we dance to; theirs (the media, the candidates, the parties, the vested interests) or ours?
Or do we even feel like dancing at all?
Time will tell. So turn off the polls on CNN, as they are pretty much meaningless until September anyway, and just enjoy the summer. Come September, the crap will come.
“All government, in its essence, is a conspiracy against the superior man: its one permanent object is to oppress him and cripple him. If it be aristocratic in organization, then it seeks to protect the man who is superior only in law against the man who is superior in fact; if it be democratic, then it seeks to protect the man who is inferior in every way against both. One of its primary functions is to regiment men by force, to make them as much alike as possible and as dependent upon one another as possible, to search out and combat originality among them. All it can see in an original idea is potential change, and hence an invasion of its prerogatives. The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are.”
I’ve been watching the DNC Rules Committee meeting for the last few hours to find out how to seat the delegates from Florida and Michigan (even though they have rules that cover this…they shouldn’t be seated at all for either candidate) and I have never been happier to have left that party. The disingenuous, greedy, and plain stupid behavior of some of the members of the committee and most of the spectators has been captivating much in the same way that a car wreck would. It’s horrible, but I just can’t turn away. But damn. It really shows maturity to shout down people trying to make sensible points (on both sides). How progressive. How enlightened.
How nauseating.
Let me sum this up for everyone (based on my admittedly limited viewing of the crowd attending this meeting). One side thinks that if you don’t vote for Hillary Clinton, then you’re a sexist. Another side thinks if you don’t vote for Obama, you’re a racist. Both sides think if you vote for McCain, you’re a warmonger.
It’s a wonder anyone votes at all.
It’s called discipline. The Democratic Party should locate some, then use it. Right now it’s still a bad joke played on democracy, and most likely shall be for some time, and I don’t think this is the end of it.
I could be wrong, but that convention is going to be something akin to Mortal Kombat, and I feel for anyone that’s going. Bring a helmet. You might need it.
And McCain is still enjoying the show, as he should.
I’ll be happy to tell you. Scott McClellan did what he though he had to do.
At this point though, does it really matter? The damage has been done. Yeah, it’s going to make a great read and he’ll be either lauded or vilified depending on the reader, but I have to say that it’s just too late.
This couldn’t have been an easy choice for McClellan. It’s never easy to turn on a patron. But, as I was reading a Washington Times story on the matter Bob Dole realy told it like it is. He said, “You should have spoken up publicly like a man, or quit your cushy, high-profile job”
Agreed.
What’s even more ridiculous, however, is in the same story the liberal group MoveOn.org (and oh how I wish they would, preferably to Antarctica) remarked that McClellan should not be allowed to profit off his book, which is sure to be a bestseller. That’s just stupid. Whether or not one agrees or disagrees those are his words, his work, and if he makes money off it it should be his to do with as he pleases.
That’s those types of liberals though. They can spend your money better than you can, or even decide if you deserve it all all for work you did.
Members of the Nazi party and Knights Templar were unavailable for comment.
Also the Temple of Doom (reformed) asked for patience and understanding. “We’re past that whole ripping out the heart and burning people alive thing.” said Mola Ram III, grandson of the former cult leader. “It’s the 21st century. Maybe we owe Dr. Jones some thanks for helping us into the modern age.”
The 5 year old in question has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a high functioning form of Autism. It can lead to social anxiety, isolationism and eccentric behavior. However, with the right encouragement, people with it can be mainstreamed, I personally know several and most of them are brilliant. After the vote he spent the rest of the day in the nurses office and now, when his mother drops his siblings off at the same school he starts crying and screaming that “he’s not special.”
So I guess the pertinent question here is what kind of dumbass lazy teacher lets 5 year olds make that kind of call? 5 year olds barely know how to tie their shoes, much less make a competent diagnosis on the social skills of kids with mental disabilities. It seems like someone just didn’t want to deal with a challenge and passed the buck…to a kindergarten class. Way to go ‘teach. That’s some fine edumaticating there.
And what a fantastic lesson to learn at a young age too. If you don’t like someone…just deport them.
That teacher should not be teaching. It’s a hasty judgment, granted, but I’m making it.
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